C. S. Lewis on Marriage

Being in love is a good thing, but it is not the best thing. There are many things below it, but there are also things above it. You cannot make it the basis of a whole life. It is a noble feeling, but it is still a feeling. Now no feeling can be relied on to last in its full intensity, or even to last at all. Knowledge can last, principles can last, habits can last; but feelings come and go. And in fact, whatever people say, the state called 'being in love' usually does not last . . . Who could bear to live in that excitement for even five years? What would become of your work, your appetite, your sleep, your friendships? But, of course, ceasing to be 'in love' need not mean ceasing to love. Love in the second sense--love as distinct from 'being in love'--is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforced by (in Christian marriages) the grace which both partners ask, and receive, from God . . . 'Being in love' first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. It is on this love that the engine of marriage is run: being in love was the explosion that started it.

Scattergories Part V

va va vavooom

V is for

1. Athletes: Vincent Thomas Lombardi
2. 4 letter word: Vile
3. Street names: Valley Road
4. Color: Violet
5. Gifts/presents: #'s 9, 13, 16, 18, 22, voucher, voyage, Volvo, videos, villa
6. Vehicles: VTOL Osprey, Volvo
7. Tropical Locations: Venezuela
8. College Majors: Vocal Performance
9. Dairy Product: Vla (Dutch custard pie)
10. Things in a Souvenir Shop: Venetian glass
11. Boy Name: Victor
12. Girl Name: Victoria
13. Movie Titles: V for Vendetta
14. Beers: Victoria Bitter
15. Occupations: Vaudevillian
16. Flowers: Venus flytrap
17. Celebrities: Viggo Mortesen
18. Magazines: Vibe
19. U.S. Cities: Vacaville California
20. Pro Sports Teams: Vikings
21. Alcoholic drink: Vodka
22. Something you wear: Vans
23. Food: #9 above
24. Something found in a bathroom: Vase (assuming a decorated one!)
25. Reason for Being Late: Vacuous
26. Cartoon Character: Veronica (Archies)
27. Something You Shout: "VICTORY!!"
28. Animal: Vole
29. Body part: Veins, vertebra, and ;-}
30. Word to describe you: Virtuous (I wish) Vicious (I fear)

Why I Still Believe

I want to provide a logical defense; however the truth of the matter is "Because I do." Everytime someone fails to live up to the standard, everytime despair seems to be winning the day, from the depths of my soul comes the whisper "It is true, now what will you do."

Learning

Defining Daily
Identity Synergy
Embracing the Void

An UnValentine for my Birthday

The following are from the WONDERFUL little book

The UnValentine
story by Sam Beeson
paintings by Jesse Draper

When I want
A box of chocolates
I buy it . . .
Then I eat it.
All of it.

Normon Mailer: Engineering a Relationship

So did you know Norman Mailer studied engineering at Harvard? At 16 no less.

More to the point, in The Man Who Studied Yoga that engineer turned writer clearly defined a problem which has eluded this engineer for decades.

She is too sharp-tongued, and she does not often give Sam what he needs most, a steady flow of uncritical encouragement to counteract the harshness with which he views himself.

Ok so maybe this engineer still isn't convinced that THE problem has been clearly defined BUT rather A situation. When someone abuses my inner child, I am told that I am responsible for feelings and that I am free to choose to act rather than react. Would this not also be true for Sam?

Well I think so, but if you read the rest of the story you'll find that they both need to work on their relationship skills. As Mailer pointed out, "Unhappily it is more complicated than that."