They say it is the thought that counts... I say what were they thinking.
Action: Your spouse you birthday party the weekend before a test in a graduate class that is eating your lunch.
Reactions: Everyone makes a big fuss over the spouse for being so thoughtful. You are thankful that everyone tanks the test and the entire class gets a do-over. You later find out it was part of a smoke-screen to cover his extra-marital activity.
Action: your abuser blows his brains out on your 17th birthday.
Reaction: You wonder why he couldn't have done it on your 4th which is about the time the 8 (or 9) year nightmare started.
Action: You give your self a headache trying to be nice to someone else.
Reaction: Isn't it about time you started giving yourself the presents you want and need . . . if you don't you might keep getting the same old #^*@%.